Present April

I really shouldn't be writing this post.

Especially not so early in the game.

Not that this is a game.

Because I'm done with games.

Funny how I thought there was no game to be played -- here.

And so I shouldn't be doing this -- writing this post.

But that is one of the themes of this. All of this. "This". Whatever "this" is: Do it. Do it now.

I'm doing this -- writing this post -- because it feels good. Because it feels right. I'll worry about later later. I'll enjoy the moment now.

In fact, I'm not doing it -- writing this post -- just because it feels good. I am doing it to satisfy the overwhelming need to do it and do it now.

I am allowing myself the happiness that I deserve; I am letting it happen and making it happen.

Happiness, that is.

No one but myself will do that for me.

Make me happy, that is.

When I stopped looking for excuses, when I stopped looking for what might go wrong later, I started appreciating what is going right now.

I appreciate it a lot.

...Good lookin' out, God.