Going Away

The following post was originally written on Dec. 3, 2011.

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I was all set to quietly pack up my belongings and sneak off from California like a thief in the night. I wanted to dodge explanations for my decisions and uncertain plans about one day returning to the Bay.

I somehow let myself get talked into actually telling people that I was leaving. Maybe my friends would want to see me before I set off for unknown (by me) lands.

I am still overwhelmed by the turnout of last night's get-together. I counted about 35 folks who rolled through at some point in the night. Once again, friends from different times and places of my life came together under one roof to show me some love and, most importantly, remind me of my personal growth in my five years in the Bay. These guests, my friends, have been my family and support system for several years. They both helped me become who I am today and made me who I am today.

Many shared kind words with me about my personality and accomplishments. I feel completely undeserving of their words... I am still in a rut due to the whole quitting situation. I know that validation can only come from myself and that, in turn, will come when I'm finally doing something that I can be proud of again. For now, my friends are being the scaffolds that I need and providing the perspective about myself that I lack.

Dear...

You've lived a life that I fantasize about. You make me believe that I can have that life. You are helping me chase after it.

Dear...

You are so full of life. You, too, have lived in cities across the United States. I want to be like you, too.

Dear...

Thank you for your guidance. God brought me under the circumstances that He did so that we could meet even if only briefly. I learned so much from you... "We are most like our five closest friends", "The footprints we leave behind continue to inspire, even if we are no longer around to see the fruits of our labor", "Everywhere you go, you are with you. You can't escape you. Learn to be OK with you."

Dear...

Missed you. Still do.

Dear...

You became my closest friend in my time of need; keep up the great work -- you are passionate, hardworking, smart, capable, and very loving!

Dear...

See you in Hawaii! Somehow, I know we will keep running into each other over and over again in various parts of the world...