I almost feel like I've been here in San Diego for too long, and that I need to get back to Berkeley. Not that I'm not having any fun here. I think that I'm just feeling unproductive, and I feel like I need to be doing something important... just so I can go to bed with a feeling of accomplishment stirring inside of me. I know that once I get to to Berkeley, I'm going to be at least a little homesick, though.
And so continues the Story of My Life. Among the three places that I call 'home' - San Diego, Berkeley, and the Philippines - I can never find a sense of completion, the feeling that tells me "this is where I am meant to be, this is what I am meant to be doing". When I'm in one place, I miss someone from another place, when I'm doing one thing, I get restless and need to be doing something else somewhere else.
There just isn't enough time to spend with all the people that I love, nor a way to bring my homes a little closer together - at least, closer than the hundreds to thousands of miles that they are away from each other.
I believe that the conclusion to my Xanga entry will be this: I must find a fold in the Time-Space Continuum.--http://a-ferr-ill.xanga.com/
Interesting to see that four years later, not much about me has changed (save for the fact that you can add one more location on that list). Same ol' me. Still searching for "more" out of life; still running, almost trying to fast-forward through my present to get to my future; still nostalgic for a past I couldn't fully enjoy when it was my present.
Oh, and by the end of the year, I may be adding another location. So what's harder to pin down: my sense of completion or... me?
No comments:
Post a Comment