Alright, well... I submit to the fact that there is always room for work. In my case, as a young, overzealous yuppie who has spent too much time in an impenetrable bubble of privilege, similar opinions, and overall inexperience... I humbly acknowledge that I have plenty of room for improvement.
Dear Self,

You are smart, outspoken, creative, quick-thinking, extremely organized, and a damn hard worker (perhaps even to a fault).

Still-hopeful-and-confident half of self

= = =

I s'pose I should start working on my interview skills. I do wish that my ghost of academic past will stop haunting me.

I also would like for people to stop giving me the ol' once over when I tell them that I want to be a teacher and saying things like "You? Are you sure they're going to take you seriously, I mean... You're kinda short. No offense." Coupled with looks that say "aw, isn't that cute". For that matter, I don't particularly like the "sweet, you'd make a hot teacher" comments either.

I will be a good teacher. Really good. All y'all are just standing in my way.


Currently having that odd sensation of realizing that life is very strange yet also having the faith that this is all leading up to something wonderful.

So strange.


I re-read and proof read
I re-write and edit
Scrap, chuck, add,
Replace, redo,
Re-write, and re-write, and re-write;
But it never ends!!!!

I always cringe when re-reading old stuff I've turned in to professors.



I'm trying really hard to pay attention to my work and class readings and all that... but my thoughts keep invading my mind.

I was trying to read some article or another for an Ethnic Studies class. I started thinking about life... OK, my life, to be more exact... past, present, and future. I started wondering about purpose, fate, luck, the process of maturity...

I wondered, "am I becoming someone more like me, or will I always be me? ..."

*Focus on reading.. focus on reading*...

"...was I always me, or did I become me?" ...

*focus on reading, focus on reading*...

Then, suddenly, a line from the reading: "we have always thought of ourselves as getting more like ourselves everyday."

Great. I couldn't read my readings, so my readings read my mind.


giving up

I was really excited to take a graduate class this semester. I got the syllabus, got the first week's worth of reading... stayed up all night doing thisnthat, but still very very very motivated to complete the 200-some pages of reading for week 1 alone.

But I can't do it. I'm so tired. It was a rough weekend.

I have a lot on my plate.

I think I'm going to throw in the towel before the first round.

This makes me sad.
late night antsy-ness calls for a stroll down memory lane... and, in this digital age of lame social networks on which everyone and their mom congregates... strolls down such lanes only entails click, click, clicking through "Photos Tagged of Me". Woo.

if i were a stranger to me and i to were click, click, clicking through my photos, i would think that i am a very happy and very silly person.

and i would be right about me, incidentally.

so i want to be happy and silly tomorrow. which is today.

so it shall be.