Building, Breathing, and (not) Bailing

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I had felt the little frustrations building and building. I wanted to skip out. I wanted bail. But I didn't. And then it suddenly built up just right now... For some reason. I did make it to Friday. I felt myself let out a little bit of steam when I talked with Gia and Alison. I troubleshooted, I responded as best I could to as many situations as I could, though I could not get to everything. I even was able to let go of the things that I couldn't control. And then just, I wasn't able to let go of the things I couldn't control. I let it get to me. So now, I'm undoing that bit of where I let it get to me. I'm reframing this past morning in my head. I'm taking a beat. I'm feeling thankful for my coworkers' support. I'm not beating myself up for accidentally letting it get to me. I'm being kind to myself. I'm proud of myself for having high expectations and for trying to help my students reach those expectations. I'm proud of myself for doing that every damn day. It's so tiring. Sometimes, I'm inspired by the challenge. Sometimes, I'm successful with some students. Sometimes, feel proud of those successes. Often, I'm not successful with other students. Sometimes, I get discouraged by that lack of success. In the past, I've been able to shrug off those moments of discouragement. That's what I'm trying to do now. How am I going to do that?
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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