I had a kind of revelation today. I'm trying to nail it down.
What if I just start accepting myself? What if I stop blaming myself for having a hard time and just believe that I am who I am supposed to be? What if it's OK to have hard days and to take breaks? What if the work is outsized to be done to perfection, so then I just do what I can and move on?
What if I am perfect the way I am? What if Got has equipped me with everything that I need to thrive and grow in life? What if I am a success story? What if I just started having fun and started being proud of myself?
What if the goal is not to not break down? What if it was OK to break down every once in a while? What if I found out that everyone breaks down every once in a while? What if my circumstances need to change, not me? What if it wasn't my fault? What if instead of being too sensitive, I knew that I was just sensitive enough? What if instead of being too impatient, I knew that my patience was just enough and that everything else is what got my patience spent?
What if I'm not too delicate? What if I'm not too depressed or anxious? What if I were right, just the way I am? What if I weren't overreacting, and just reacting in the way that is uniquely me?
They prayed over me today. They prayed that I would know and hear that God has given me the confidence that I need to succeed and excel in my life. They showered me in praises that I needed and filled me with love and healing protection.
Today was just another hiccup. I will always, always, always have hiccups. But with each, I get stronger, wiser, and more capable. I love who I am. I love me. That's why I need to prioritize me. I come before school, work, and anything else that I'm running back and forth from. Unfortunately I don't always get to schedule myself in and my "self" come crashing through the door demanding attention before all else. Sorry work, school, all else--I guess you'll just have to wait.
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