A Traveler's Charm

Sometimes I still wonder if I have something in me that just causes me to get irrationally depressed. For example, today, I literally burst into sobs while standing over the stove, failing at popping popcorn.

I'm not PMSing. I'm not pregnant. I didn't have a bad day at work. Something just came over me.

Granted, I'm getting better at trying to take care of all the little things "around" what can get me to a bad space. I make sure I'm not hungry, dehydrated, tired, cold, hot... or rather, if I am one of those things, I chalk up my bad mood to one of those things and try to address it as best I can. If I can't address it, I cut myself some slack and kind of zone out until that need can be met. I try to go with the flow, knowing that I'm not at the top of my game.

I know about myself that I need time to be by myself and just... think. Kind of like what I'm doing now. In fact, I need time to settle down from the day and get to this place. Today, that meant going home, having a snack, making myself some tea, tidying up around the house, and then finally settling into my room and opening my laptop.

I'm so happy and grateful that I have the time to do this. I'm so happy and grateful that I gave myself the time today to do this. I'm so happy and grateful that I know how to take care of myself and that I do.

I heard in a podcast the other day something to the effect of: too often, we go through are day just not trying to knock into too many walls. We don't realize that we put those walls up ourself. In fact, we don't realize, that there are no walls. What would we do if instead of trying not to knock into walls, we pushed beyond what we thought was possible?

Counting blessings:

I'm grateful for Brian and Nikki and Tin and my parents and their SOs and my extended family because we support each other through thick and thin and we move as one unit. We all are kind and loving and have similar interests and make the effort to spend time with one another.

I'm grateful for our apartment because Bay Area housing is expensive and we lucked out on a nice place that is affordable and in an area where we want to live.

I'm grateful to be gainfully employed because with that employment, I'm able to afford to eat, live, and treat myself to small pleasures.

I'm grateful to have fulfilling job which allows me to serve people. I'm grateful that I'm able to use my skills and talents and brain and creativity in my job. I'm grateful that my unique abilities are needed and appreciated.

~The Life I Love Living~