When I started this blog, I wanted to start fresh. This blog was going to be an outlet for me to show people my mind. Past blogs had other themes - comedic, emotional, even one entirely separate blog about boys and relationships. I wish I were kidding.
This blog, however, would be as empty of emotion as possible.
My reasoning was that folks don't want to read about your happiness or sadness -- not that that's a bad thing. They do care about your well-being. They're happy for you when you're happy. They hope that you feel better when you're sad.
But they don't want to read about it. Ultimately, how you feel will not affect how they go about their day. They don't want to read your heart, they want to read your mind.
I figured: I want people to read my writing. So I wrote my mind. I abandoned poetry. I abandoned style. I remember that I showed him a piece of my writing from my past, and he said that it sounded so maarte. I was crushed. I stopped writing with the aesthetic that I was once so proud of.
And then, the emotional girl disappeared. The girl who used to sink and and then soar in a matter of seconds is... gone? Grown up? Stifled? ...Waiting?
I'm using only one operating system right now. My feet are heavy, but they're planted firmly in the ground.