Stealing from Friends

When I was a child, I overheard my parents lamenting to each other about how sadly impressionable I was. Apparently, they saw me as one who follows the actions of others, succumbs easily to peer pressures, and basically is a naive copy cat. So sad.

Sad that they thought this of me and sad that I overheard this conversation. Maybe it was all even true. I don't know.

When I look at my friends today, I notice that yes, I do have a lot in common with them. Am I the aggregate sum of my closest friends? Can the same be said for many people... or do I really have no identity of my own?

OBVIOUSLY right now you are thinking to yourself, "No, April, you are friends with people who share common interests as you. You gravitate towards people who have things in common with you."

I wish. In truth, I am friends with the people who are closest to me in proximity.

Go ahead. Let that sink and settle in your brain for a moment.

You are reading my blog because you are a friend of mine (I hope), and you are now thinking to yourself, "great, April is friends with me because I am in arm's reach... worse yet, she copies me. Good grief."

Hear me out: I'm not friends with everyone in arm's reach -- I screen out the bad apples. But all my friends are within my reach. I find it difficult to maintain long distance friendships; I also do not to go very far out of my way to make friends in other worlds beside my own. Rather, those whom I call my close friends are literally quite close to me.

With me so far?

OK. Moving on. One of Lenny's critiques about me is that I heroize people I come across quite freely. You, my friend who is reading my blog, hold a quality that I think is, like, So. Freaking. Cool. And well, I don't want to copy you or be you, I just want to take away from you One Freaking Cool Thing.

Contrary to my parents' early thoughts about my development as a human person, I try to not naively mimic the actions of others. I pick my favorites -- favorite people and favorite actions/habits/ethics/etc.

Anyway, I don't know where to end that thought, so I'll end it there. And by the way, based on my observations, no one (not even my sisters) seems to think anything I do is worthy of copying. How embarrassing. And mildly emo.

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